Monday, July 28, 2008

People Who Don't Age

Some people got out of line when God was passing out the aging gene. I'm not talking about those with a standing date for Botox or plastic surgery. I'm talking about those people who manage to look the same (or better!) with age. They are freaks of nature and somehow I've managed to surround myself with them. They are my friends, my aunts, my cousins.

Aging is on my mind because it's my mother's birthday week. She's definitely in the "freak of nature" category. She won't stand next to me for a photograph because I'm thinner. I won't stand next to her because she's starting to look younger than me and I don't need the comparison.

George Carlin, one of my favorite comedians, died recently. My dad and I used to watch his specials and howl.

Here's what he had to say about aging:

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life ... You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92..'

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!


1. Throw out nonessential numbers.. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.'

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5 Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

I have never been hung up on looks -- mine or other people's. I'm more focused on brains and a sense of humor. But lately, I've been doing that thing in the mirror where you pull your face up to where it used to be. (Never going to happen.)

I'm going to skip the improvements on my looks and concentrate on making me a better me.


Cess said...

I, too, thought George Carlin was a genius. What an insight into human nature.

By, the way, I heard what a fantastic thing you did for your mother!

Anonymous said...

That was a great surprise for your mom, she didn't see it coming. I had a really good time playing Joker with everyone yesterday, no I know why they get together so often. Also, I hope we can have a neighborhood picnic, it would be a blast. Kim
P.S. Sheri, You're right your mother looks amazing for . . . . uh, 29. You definately have your mother's genes as you haven't aged a bit since you were a teenager.

Sandy said...

I'm sure you know the story about Pinnochio. Better not tell a lie or your nose will start growing....Love you.

P.S. It was so great to see you, and thanks for being a good sport and playing our favorite game with us. I'm so glad you were there.