Living with the oldies meant talking to the Belle all the time. She would just wander into my office. Most communiation with my mother is by phone or email. Last week we cracked each other up by counting phone calls. We didn't say "hello," we said, "This is my number six phone call today."
My mother is my harshest critic. She's allowed. We find it funny because I welcome it. She programmed me well. Plus, she's usually right so I've learned to pay attention.
On the flip side, she can be fiercely protective. If someone is treating me like dirt, she will be on my side yet, she expects me to fix it. She may give wise advice. She may provide counsel. She won't fix it for me.
I can run to her and become a crumbling heap. She'll scoop me up and tell me she loves me. She expects me to stand tall.
My spine is a little stronger after every conversation with my mother -- even when we get snarly. I want to stand tall. I want to do it for me and I don't want to let her down.
Sometimes it takes six or seven conversations in one day to get the message through to me.
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2 comments:
You are so Blessed to have such a wonderful relationship. I am glad you have it. I hope that my daughters and I will have the same in years to come. Often my conversations with Emily, already remind me of you two! Annie & I are still at the early Sheri & Sandy stage (era 1979..). Which makes me laugh when I am not crying! I remind myself that Sandy taught me better to be a Mother (even one that is sometimes hated) then a buddy when they are growing up. Then the relationship between Mother & Daughter can blossom into a wonderful friendship where you can be close for many years to come. My job is to be Mom first & foremost. :)
Your mom is a smart lady. I don't want to be my daughter's best friend--I want to be her mother. I also carry a can of whoop--- for anyone that hurts her. Mothers, like you said,are allowed to be your critic,beause everything we do is out of love. I may not always approve or understand why my daughter does some of the things she does, but no matter what,I will always love her and nothing can ever change that. Sorry this sounds "sappy'-it's early and I have not had enough coffee. Wait! I think I will go to the nearest closest and just have a good cry. Love to you both....BGS
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