Dogs and Cats

I have never owned a cat but I know lots of cat people. I have loved (from afar) some of my friends' cats. I am a dog person. My greatest act of defiance was to get my maniac dog even though the husband and Hangdog were firmly against it. I've never regretted it.

This is old but worth repeating. I have no idea who the author is or I would give him or her credit.

>DOG DIARY
>
> 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
> 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
> 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
> 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
> 12:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
> 1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
> 3:00 PM - Ran back and forth in the hall! My favorite thing!
> 5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
> 7:00 PM - Got to play tug! My favorite thing!
> 8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
> 11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
>
> CAT DIARY
>
> Day 983 of my captivity.
>
> My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
> They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are
> fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
> rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
> keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
> escape.
>
> In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
>
> Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
> feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
> clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
> condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.
> Bastards!
>
> They continue to pick me up and handle me, an obvious attempt to
> subvert me.
>
> There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
> placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
> I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
> confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what
> this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
>
> Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
> tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
> this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
>
> I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
> snitches.
>
> The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -- and
> seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
>
> Tonight I will again lie on their heads while they sleep and hope to
> smother them.

Give me a big ol' sloppy dog. I'll leave the litter box and the craftiness to the cat people.