Dads

The Captain had many reasons to be proud: WWII pilot, engineering career, an enduring marriage with a wife who adored him and more. I wish I had captured the gleam in his eyes when he spoke of his boys.

Today is Father’s Day and I am remembering the Captain/Hangdog/Unabomber. I’m thinking about last year and the absolute joy on his face when his sons or grandchildren called to acknowledge the holiday. We had a dinner, complete with three Roman generations of men. We’ll do the same today but there will be an empty chair.

My father did not get sons. He got stuck with me. Boy, have I put him through the wringer! Yet, he’s always made me feel like the smartest, the most talented daughter in the world.

We’ve all heard the stories and read the statistics. Children who grow up without a father are more likely to:

Abuse drugs and alcohol
Suffer in poverty
Drop out of school
Join a gang
Repeat the cycle

I’ve always heard that men want sons. It may be about carrying on the lineage and the family name. (You will have to kill me before I stop using the Riley name.)I watched this magician the other day. His trick was to put a bunch of people on a mat and then cover them in a bubble. I thought, “Hah! My dad has put me in a bubble for years.” One of his few quirks is when he’s mad or disappointed in me, he leaves it to my mother to tell me.

Here are a few things about my dad you may not know:

His childhood was beyond unfair. It makes me cry. He survived.

He describes his first date with my mother as, “Love at first sight.” I think they still like each other.

When my mother got bored with my ineptness, he continued to help me learn how to skip.

As an adult, I’ve never lived anywhere without my father painting, repairing, building.

His word is a bond. It’s ironclad. He’s the strongest (and I don’t mean just physical) person I know.

He doesn’t have to have the last word.

His quiet sense of humor is raw and hysterical.

His hearing may be diminished but he always hears us when we call.

He would get the certificate for “Best Eater.” He’s fun to cook for.

George Jones, George Strait, Willie Nelson and many other country singers will never know the passion of this fan. He forced me to listen to country music as a child and now I find myself comparing songs with him. Many of our father/daughter dates have been country music concerts.

Almost 45 years ago, Paul Riley met a little girl. She had colic and frog legs. She often spent time trying his patience. To this day, she takes him for granted. But, at least she knows it.

My father did not grow up with a great father. I did.