On Saturday, the husband and I went to a friend's home for dinner. He and his girlfriend prepared a fabulous meal and could not have been more gracious. It was a roller coaster of laughs, food, music ... and tears.
My friend, Patsy, was his wife. The last time I stepped in this house, I was visiting her after surgery. I knew he had remodeled/recedorated and I was anxious to see it. I was also just plain anxious. I used to be able to drive to this place in my sleep. We have had girlfriend sleepovers and SuperBowl parties there. We sat in the kitchen and solved the problems of the world.
Crossing the threshold was like walking through foam. I expected her to walk up to me, cup my face with her little hands and kiss me in greeting. (Then she would tell me what was wrong with my life.)
I didn't exactly boo-hoo; I just couldn't escape the memories. I really like the girlfriend but I'm sure she wanted to slap me: Just stop it!
Although she was Jewish, Patsy's final days were spent in a Catholic hospital. Crucifixes everywhere. My super-funny husband would walk into the room and say, "Love your decorations." She was in a coma but her machines would go crazy.
The house has changed and although it was beautiful before, it better suits her husband now. Plus, his girlfriend must appreciate the changes.
One thing he kept was a large frame filled with friends and family. She inspired me to do this myself and it's a tedious yet worthwhile project. People get enthralled with the search. Am I in there? The husband couldn't find himself. I pointed out: she didn't like you.
The truth is she did like him but she enjoyed the dance of poking and prodding, as does he. They disagreed on so many things that it made my head spin. I learned many years ago to get out of the way.
So, I went to Patsy's house. I loved it. Patsy wanted nothing more for her husband and children than to be happy and I felt nothing but love in the house. Could anyone ask for a better legacy?
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3 comments:
This was very sweet. I know how much you loved & miss Patsy. I regret that I never met her, although I feel I knew her from the many stories and she had such a fun spirit. It is good that her husband made the changes. As you said, she would have wanted him happy and able to continue to enjoy life to the fullest. Patsy will live on, in your heart as well as all she touched.
When I go to Toronto on Thursday to my Boyfriend's mother-in-law's memorial service (along with his kids, family & friends) I will be the "girlfriend."
And they will be remembering their own wife/mother's memorial service.
What a touching story, and how blessed Patsy was to have been so loved.
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