Mean Moms

I raise my coffee mug in a silent toast to all mean moms.

Mean moms annoy you as a child and infuriate you as a teenager. They make the best friends when you've grown into a full-fledged adult.

Being a mean mom is hard work. You never assume your child is an angel; you demand to know what they did to get in any particular tough situation. With teenagers, mean moms wait up, check the curfew and check the eyes, usually with flashlight in hand. Mean moms say no a lot. Then, they suffer the cold shoulder, attitudes and badgering of, "everyone else gets to do it." In the days before cell phones, mean moms could still track you down. Mean moms don't need to demand respect. They've earned it and smart children are afraid of the consequences.

Children are not stupid. They figure out which mom is the soft touch. This is not me. This was definitely not my mother. Mean moms have rules and they're not very big on excuses. They also insist you figure out your own problems. "So, what's your plan to fix this?" I can't count how many times I heard this phrase in my childhood but the message was clear: I'm in your corner but this is your mess -- clean it up. Whenever I hear it come out of my mouth, I have to stifle a giggle.

I don't think the mother-in-law was a mean mom. I believe she tried to be strict and ran a little military family but I think whatever happened to her boys was someone else's fault. A couple of them have a sense of entitlement that makes her crazy today.