Married to Your Best Friend

Are you married to your best friend?

When anyone tells me she is married to her best friend, I do three things in my mind:

1. I applaud her because she is that much in love.
2. I calculate how long she's been married. In my experience, the only people who ever say this have been married less than three years or more than 40 years.
3. I say a prayer for her. I want her to continue to love her husband this much but she desperately needs some girlfriends.

I am married but I am not married to my best friend. I love him and as husbands go, he's a keeper. We can talk and we can spat. I think he's brilliant. Occasionally, he thinks I'm pretty ok too.

Living up to the idea of being married to your best friend would involve changing my sexual orientation. I don't think I'm up to it. Plus, I would have to become old school Mormon so I could have more than one spouse at a time.

I asked the oldies this question. They both said "Yes, I am married to my best friend." That should be applause worthy but secretly, it made me a little sad.

Maybe I'm greedy. I love the relationship with my husband -- the good, the bad and the ugly. We are friends in a weird and intimate way. We share things that will always remain between the two of us. But, if I didn't have girlfriends and best friends, who would I talk to?

A best friend is the one you vent to about the husband. Then, she takes your side. Later, she has the class to be nice to him anyway. With a best friend, you can discuss your gray hair roots. Or, she'll be the one to point out some random hair that's growing out of your chin. This is not sexy stuff. Husbands are best left out of these conversations.

If you ask a husband, "Do I look fat in this?" and he's dumb enough to say "Yes," it hurts your feelings. If you ask your best friend and get the affirmative answer, it's a wave of relief that she didn't let you make a fool of yourself.

Marriage is a sacred institution. I want Big Daddy to be my husband -- not my best friend.