Sleep Envy

Restful sleep is no longer an easy process. I don't understand why or when this happened. I used to be able to fall asleep and stay asleep with no problem. Those days appear to be over. My parents used to joke that you could run a train through my room and I wouldn't wake up. I long for those days.

The oldies are good sleepers. She may prowl around during the night, but she has no problem curling up in bed (during the day) and accompanying him on a long winter's nap. The husband can announce that he's going to watch TV and be asleep in his chair in 30 seconds. He can get on an airplane and be asleep before we take off.

When the baby is here, his agenda is sleep. I used to think it was growth spurts but now I think he's inherited some gene that allows him to fall asleep at will.

The Unabomber can sleep anywhere ... a chair, the kitchen table, the car ... it doesn't matter. I know he's old but how tired can he be? Even the puppy has a sleep routine that seems to work for her.

I've tried all the tricks. Great sheets and lavender linen spray. Games in my head to bore myself. TV on; TV off. It's 1:03. It's 3:20. It's 4:25. Oops, now it's time to get up.

I'm jealous of those people who can sleep.