I'm trying to learn a new language and behavior. It's called, "Ask the husband." This is as foreign to me as you asking me to speak Latin. My brain doesn't go there. The good news is this -- neither does his. We're not permission seekers; we're announcers:
Oh, by the way, I'm going on a golf trip next week.
Oh, by the way, the girlfriends are going to the lake and I'm going too.
Oh, by the way, I need you to show up for this dinner or XYZ event.
Oh, by the way, the oldies have this appointment and it's your turn.
On Saturday, I made an impromptu decision to invite some friends over on Sunday to watch our local football team. Chili and sandwiches. Easy enough. I started calling a few friends and they each said, "Let me check with the husband and I'll call you back." The husband in this house did not have a clue that I was planning this little shindig. I knew he wouldn't care and I was right. He thought it was a great idea.
The husband likes it this way. He keeps track of his office appointments and band gigs. I keep track of the rest. Like clockwork, he asks me every morning, "Do we have anything on the schedule for tonight?" Or he announces, "I have band practice." Sometimes it's dinner with a client or some other function. He has never asked, "Do you mind ...?"
But, sometimes our schedules are not in sync. Or one of us will make a decision that the other disagrees with. It's frustrating and I don't like it. So, I decided to try a new behavior. I'll check with the husband. I've only done it twice and both times, he looked at me like I'd just flown in from Pluto.
"Why are you asking me? I don't care."
The oldies discuss everything to death. It's futile and slightly ridiculous. She's going to do it her way. Still, it's probably more polite than our way. So, I'm going to take baby steps in learning this new behavior. I'm not sure I have the stamina. Plus, when the husband gives me that puzzled look, I want to whack him.
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