Just so you know the husband and I are not two idiots sitting around and waiting to see what ailment, fall, disease is going to plague us next, the answer is,"Yes, we are looking into assisted living." It's overdue and we both know it. So, we're investigating and having pretty frank conversations with the oldies.
They both consider it Being Sent To The Home. But, in their own way, they understand.
The oldies raised four boys. Only the husband and one of his brothers seems to give a hoot. The brother that lives in Texas is investigating facilities in their area. Although they hate the weather in Indiana, I am absolutely sure they will not move to Texas. (Although, that may make it on my prayer list.)
Legal issues, financial issues, health issues ... I am overwhelmed.
When she's healthy, the mother-in law is a social butterfly. Some of the activities would make her giddy -- bridge groups, hair salon, etc. But, she will never leave Hangdog. I've tried to convince him that he could make an entire new network of friends. Just think about it -- people who have never heard the stories! They'll be enthralled.
We have lots of friends who are able to advise us about care facilities. Yet, the oldies are living in an assisted living facility right now -- the husband and I are the assistants.
So, (guilt, guilt, guilt,) we're sort of kicking them out the door. Of course, we have to get all the legal, financial and health matters in order. Not to mention, the car and their personal finances.
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5 comments:
Even though they do not realize it now, I bellive, they will thank you later when they realize that assisted living will be a blessing. At least, that is my hope. Patsy
So happy you've reached this point.
It's time.
Eric's grandfather is in assisted living on 16th street. He did not want to go at first but then when he got there he realized that it is NOT a nursing home and he learned to like it. I'm not saying that he loved it at first but he has come to think of it as home. I think the key is visiting and taking them out of there once in while and having them back in your home so they don't feel left out. You're a saint for what you (and Dan) have done and please don't feel guilty on bit. One day many of us may be in the same boat, you've just jumped on that boat a little earlier. God bless you!
Kim
It's way past time for the in-laws to go to an assisted living facility, so STOP feeling guilty.....it's just wasted energy. I'm a 56 year old healthy woman and I have already picked out my facility. It's right next door to my favorite restaurant/bar, there's a shopping center on the other side with a grocery store, several restaurants and a clothing store. If need be, someone can push my wheel chair for me so I can grab a sandwich and a drink. I have already toured this facility and know this is where I'm going so I hope you, the husband and the in-laws like it too. The residents will thoroughly enjoy the father-in-laws WW II stories that we've all heard a number of times.
I love you!
Pammie
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