Growing up, my parents were very appropriate about conversations intended to be between the two adults and conversations that were okay to have with me. But, they did not pretend to be the King and Queen of the Universe. I was allowed to see some flaws and I was encouraged to watch how they were handled.
If you've lived with a spouse for any length of time, you know the flaws and the hot buttons. One of the truest tests and best rewards of marriage is maneuvering the land mines. Or piecing it back together because you can.
If you've lived with oldies, you've seen their flaws. And, they've seen yours. These make for interesting conversations.
If you've raised children, you made decisions every day about how much to divulge and exactly what lesson you might be teaching. And, you've probably tangoed between tough love and coddling. Does anyone ever figure this out?
The Belle was a coddler, even with middle-aged children. But, she could rant and rave. I liked to remind her of how much she coddled Hangdog. That brought out the 'tude. Sometimes the husband is a coddler and I support it. I understand his need to do it.
Lots of people are terrified of revealing their flaws. It's normal; it's humiliating to say, "Here are my disasters." Yet, some of the best lessons are learned from watching someone you love find the bootstraps and pick himself or herself up. It also feels pretty good when someone gives you a hand.
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