You Might Be an Oldie

You might be an oldie if ...

You take your weight in medications.

You spend more time in bed than out of it.

It's 90 degrees and you're cold.

You feel entitled to anything free from the government.

You don't have email and you don't know how to check voicemail.

Knowing where your cell phone is doesn't seem very important.

Your social list is doctor's appointments.

When you get your hair done, you go to the "beauty parlor."

"What are we having for dinner?" is the focus of the day.

Getting dressed is optional.

The mail is a HUGE deal.

Every story starts with, "When I was young ..."

You don't understand what your kids do for a living.

You can't hear and you can't see but you're not interested anyway.

You regularly call your children and/or grandchildren by the wrong name.

You're not worried about global warming or social security running out. It won't be in your lifetime.

Your laptop is not a computer. It's where you balance dessert.

Are you an oldie?